Well, not really shit… And certainly not all. But here is a list of the number one hit singles on the UK charts in 2009 (list copied off Wikipedia):

Lady Gaga featuring Colby O’Donis	“Just Dance“
Lily Allen	“The Fear“
Kelly Clarkson	“My Life Would Suck Without You“
Flo Rida featuring Ke$ha	“Right Round“
Vanessa Jenkins and Bryn West featuring Sir Tom Jones and Robin Gibb	“Islands in the Stream“
Lady Gaga	“Poker Face“
Calvin Harris	“I’m Not Alone“
Tinchy Stryder featuring N-Dubz	“Number 1“
Black Eyed Peas	“Boom Boom Pow“
Dizzee Rascal	“Bonkers“
Black Eyed Peas	“Boom Boom Pow“
Pixie Lott	“Mama Do (Uh Oh, Uh Oh)“
David Guetta featuring Kelly Rowland	“When Love Takes Over“
La Roux	“Bulletproof“
Cascada	“Evacuate the Dancefloor“
JLS	“Beat Again“
Black Eyed Peas	“I Gotta Feeling“
Tinchy Stryder featuring Amelle	“Never Leave You“
Black Eyed Peas	“I Gotta Feeling“
David Guetta featuring Akon	“Sexy Bitch/Chick“
Dizzee Rascal	“Holiday“
Jay-Z featuring Rihanna and Kanye West	“Run This Town“
Pixie Lott	“Boys and Girls“
Taio Cruz	“Break Your Heart“
Chipmunk featuring Dayo Olatunji	“Oopsy Daisy“
Alexandra Burke featuring Flo Rida	“Bad Boys“
Cheryl Cole	“Fight for This Love“
JLS	“Everybody In Love“
Black Eyed Peas	“Meet Me Halfway“
The X Factor Finalists 2009	“You Are Not Alone“
Peter Kay’s Animated All Star Band	“The Official BBC Children in Need Medley“
Lady Gaga	“Bad Romance“
Rage Against the Machine	“Killing in the Name“
Joe McElderry	“The Climb“

With the exception of a very fortunate few, this is almost exclusively dance music. Club music. Don’t people want something to listen to in this country? Don’t they want something with substance? Granted, it’s impressive that a Rage Against the Machine made it on there. The only rock tune that did, even if it’s old as dirt, so I don’t quite get it… The Children in Need song was also very sweet, and I like it that people care enough about their charities and their kids to get it on there. I also don’t mind Lily Allen. But apart from those specific examples, I can’t say there’s a thing on there that I like. Some of it’s tolerable, and I don’t mind them so much, but mostly, I think these tunes are shit.

Which shouldn’t matter to you. My opinion affects you in no way at all. But the thing that really bothers me is that apart from two or three of these tracks, even among the ones I can stand to listen to, there’s hardly a single real instrument between them. So many fantastic instrumentalists out there, and these blood sucking record producers won’t spend a dime on them. They’ll get someone to programme a few loops instead, and that’ll be that.

I have no vendetta against electronic music. I quite like electronic music, when it’s done well, and when the computer is played like an instrument. But that’s not what this is. It’s cheap sound for an instant hit. It costs less and it makes more money for the record companies than most “real” musicians can ever dream of.

I’d like some music, please. Is that too much to ask?

EDIT: Regarding Rage Against the Machine, according to Wikipedia:

“In 2009 the song was part of a successful Facebook campaign to prevent The X Factor winner’s song from gaining the Christmas number one in the United Kingdom. The campaign provoked commentary from both groups and other musicians, as well as gaining coverage in national and international press. The song became the first single to reach Christmas number one spot on downloads alone.”